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proud mutter: a blog

Minnesotan. Mom. Writer.

Proudly muttering through this thing called #life.

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Pretty much everyone on the internet agrees: throw away your scale.

Pretty much everyone on the internet agrees: throw away your scale.

Pretty much everyone on the internet agrees: throw away your scale.

maggie bittner

Aug 16, 20194 min read

5 THINGS FRIDAY: 5 Things Minnesota Moms Say (And What They Really Mean)

5 THINGS FRIDAY: 5 Things Minnesota Moms Say (And What They Really Mean)

5 THINGS FRIDAY: 5 Things Minnesota Moms Say (And What They Really Mean)

maggie bittner

Aug 9, 20192 min read

I had a good title...but then I lost it.

I had a good title...but then I lost it.

I had a good title...but then I lost it.

maggie bittner

Aug 2, 20194 min read

TRUE STORY: 2-year-old Minnesota boy drove himself to county fair on toy tractor

TRUE STORY: 2-year-old Minnesota boy drove himself to county fair on toy tractor

TRUE STORY: 2-year-old Minnesota boy drove himself to county fair on toy tractor

maggie bittner

Jul 22, 20191 min read

5 THINGS FRIDAY: 5 Mom Shows You Should Totally Be Watching

5 THINGS FRIDAY: 5 Mom Shows You Should Totally Be Watching

5 THINGS FRIDAY: 5 Mom Shows You Should Totally Be Watching

maggie bittner

Jul 19, 20193 min read

The Perfect In-Office Out-Of-Office Reply

The Perfect In-Office Out-Of-Office Reply

The Perfect In-Office Out-Of-Office Reply

maggie bittner

Jul 10, 20192 min read

Are you a raging red-hot Summer Scrooge?

Are you a raging red-hot Summer Scrooge?

Are you a raging red-hot Summer Scrooge?

maggie bittner

Jun 26, 20194 min read

Science says only childless women want perfect boobs. I say 🐂 💩.

Science says only childless women want perfect boobs. I say 🐂 💩.

Science says only childless women want perfect boobs. I say 🐂 💩.

maggie bittner

Jun 19, 20193 min read

THIS: Chrissy Teigen snaps back and I swoon.

THIS: Chrissy Teigen snaps back and I swoon.

THIS: Chrissy Teigen snaps back and I swoon.

maggie bittner

Jun 13, 20192 min read

Baby Shark becomes a TV show and does anyone have a Valium?

Baby Shark becomes a TV show and does anyone have a Valium?

Baby Shark becomes a TV show and does anyone have a Valium?

maggie bittner

Jun 10, 20192 min read

It's Friday and I'm loaded. Mentally, that is.

It's Friday and I'm loaded. Mentally, that is.

It's Friday and I'm loaded. Mentally, that is.

maggie bittner

Jun 7, 20192 min read

TRUE STORY: A bank just earned the Worlds Best Dad award. And it's not even a sperm bank.

TRUE STORY: A bank just earned the Worlds Best Dad award. And it's not even a sperm bank.

TRUE STORY: A bank just earned the Worlds Best Dad award. And it's not even a sperm bank.

maggie bittner

Jun 5, 20192 min read

THIS. Dudes on The Bachelorette experience labor and my day is made.

THIS. Dudes on The Bachelorette experience labor and my day is made.

THIS. Dudes on The Bachelorette experience labor and my day is made.

maggie bittner

May 31, 20191 min read

Prince Harry, parent shaming and #meshpanties.

Prince Harry, parent shaming and #meshpanties.

Prince Harry, parent shaming and #meshpanties.

maggie bittner

May 29, 20194 min read

5 THINGS FRIDAY: 5 Ways I'm Giving 0 Fucks this Weekend

5 THINGS FRIDAY: 5 Ways I'm Giving 0 Fucks this Weekend

5 THINGS FRIDAY: 5 Ways I'm Giving 0 Fucks this Weekend

maggie bittner

May 24, 20193 min read

THIS. "I’m a Mom & I Fantasize About a Life Without My Kids"

THIS. "I’m a Mom & I Fantasize About a Life Without My Kids"

THIS. "I’m a Mom & I Fantasize About a Life Without My Kids"

maggie bittner

May 22, 20192 min read

Why I hate the "Normalize Breastfeeding" movement (and it's probably not why you think).

Why I hate the "Normalize Breastfeeding" movement (and it's probably not why you think).

Why I hate the "Normalize Breastfeeding" movement (and it's probably not why you think).

maggie bittner

May 17, 20194 min read

TRUE STORY: ...the state of motherhood in the US is trash, except for one thing

TRUE STORY: ...the state of motherhood in the US is trash, except for one thing

TRUE STORY: ...the state of motherhood in the US is trash, except for one thing

maggie bittner

May 15, 20192 min read

5 THINGS FRIDAY: 5 Things NOT to Say on Mother's Day

5 THINGS FRIDAY: 5 Things NOT to Say on Mother's Day

5 THINGS FRIDAY: 5 Things NOT to Say on Mother's Day

maggie bittner

May 10, 20193 min read

Now Boarding Flight to Me Town

Now Boarding Flight to Me Town

Now Boarding Flight to Me Town

maggie bittner

May 8, 20193 min read

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