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proud mutter: a blog

Minnesotan. Mom. Writer.

Proudly muttering through this thing called #life.

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VOTE.

VOTE.

VOTE.

maggie bittner

Nov 3, 20201 min read

Just no.

Just no.

Just no.

maggie bittner

Apr 20, 20203 min read

Kara can draw, which is good because I can't.

Kara can draw, which is good because I can't.

Kara can draw, which is good because I can't.

maggie bittner

Apr 3, 20202 min read

THIS: It's a Mom Thing

THIS: It's a Mom Thing

THIS: It's a Mom Thing

maggie bittner

Mar 27, 20202 min read

TRUE STORY: Pickles Don't Count

TRUE STORY: Pickles Don't Count

TRUE STORY: Pickles Don't Count

maggie bittner

Feb 26, 20202 min read

THIS: The Postpartum Motherhood Ad that ABC Didn't Have the Balls to Air

THIS: The Postpartum Motherhood Ad that ABC Didn't Have the Balls to Air

THIS: The Postpartum Motherhood Ad that ABC Didn't Have the Balls to Air

maggie bittner

Feb 13, 20204 min read

TRUE STORY: MN Trucker Mom Gives Birth In NY Truck Stop Bathroom

TRUE STORY: MN Trucker Mom Gives Birth In NY Truck Stop Bathroom

TRUE STORY: MN Trucker Mom Gives Birth In NY Truck Stop Bathroom

maggie bittner

Jan 23, 20201 min read

THIS: Work From Home Song

THIS: Work From Home Song

THIS: Work From Home Song

maggie bittner

Dec 10, 20191 min read

THIS: Baby Schrute

THIS: Baby Schrute

THIS: Baby Schrute

maggie bittner

Oct 22, 20193 min read

TRUE STORY: Minnesota kid wins a 10k. By accident.

TRUE STORY: Minnesota kid wins a 10k. By accident.

TRUE STORY: Minnesota kid wins a 10k. By accident.

maggie bittner

Oct 2, 20192 min read

TRUE STORY: Kmart Sells X-Rated Slow-Cooker

TRUE STORY: Kmart Sells X-Rated Slow-Cooker

TRUE STORY: Kmart Sells X-Rated Slow-Cooker

maggie bittner

Sep 25, 20192 min read

9 Moms Who are Doing It Better than Me

9 Moms Who are Doing It Better than Me

9 Moms Who are Doing It Better than Me

maggie bittner

Sep 6, 20192 min read

TRUE STORY: Mom is praised for having a moment and we're all fine.

TRUE STORY: Mom is praised for having a moment and we're all fine.

TRUE STORY: Mom is praised for having a moment and we're all fine.

maggie bittner

Aug 21, 20191 min read

5 THINGS FRIDAY: 5 Things Minnesota Moms Say (And What They Really Mean)

5 THINGS FRIDAY: 5 Things Minnesota Moms Say (And What They Really Mean)

5 THINGS FRIDAY: 5 Things Minnesota Moms Say (And What They Really Mean)

maggie bittner

Aug 9, 20192 min read

TRUE STORY: 2-year-old Minnesota boy drove himself to county fair on toy tractor

TRUE STORY: 2-year-old Minnesota boy drove himself to county fair on toy tractor

TRUE STORY: 2-year-old Minnesota boy drove himself to county fair on toy tractor

maggie bittner

Jul 22, 20191 min read

It's Friday and I'm loaded. Mentally, that is.

It's Friday and I'm loaded. Mentally, that is.

It's Friday and I'm loaded. Mentally, that is.

maggie bittner

Jun 7, 20192 min read

TRUE STORY: A bank just earned the Worlds Best Dad award. And it's not even a sperm bank.

TRUE STORY: A bank just earned the Worlds Best Dad award. And it's not even a sperm bank.

TRUE STORY: A bank just earned the Worlds Best Dad award. And it's not even a sperm bank.

maggie bittner

Jun 5, 20192 min read

THIS. Dudes on The Bachelorette experience labor and my day is made.

THIS. Dudes on The Bachelorette experience labor and my day is made.

THIS. Dudes on The Bachelorette experience labor and my day is made.

maggie bittner

May 31, 20191 min read

TRUE STORY: ‘Adulting’ calendars reward grown-ass adults with stickers

TRUE STORY: ‘Adulting’ calendars reward grown-ass adults with stickers

TRUE STORY: ‘Adulting’ calendars reward grown-ass adults with stickers

maggie bittner

May 3, 20191 min read

My Motherhood Sessions Obsession

My Motherhood Sessions Obsession

My Motherhood Sessions Obsession

maggie bittner

Apr 24, 20191 min read

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