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proud mutter: a blog

Minnesotan. Mom. Writer.

Proudly muttering through this thing called #life.

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Just no.

Just no.

Just no.

maggie bittner

Apr 20, 20203 min read

Kara can draw, which is good because I can't.

Kara can draw, which is good because I can't.

Kara can draw, which is good because I can't.

maggie bittner

Apr 3, 20202 min read

TRUE STORY: Pickles Don't Count

TRUE STORY: Pickles Don't Count

TRUE STORY: Pickles Don't Count

maggie bittner

Feb 26, 20202 min read

I Had a CBAC and I'm Not Looking Back

I Had a CBAC and I'm Not Looking Back

I Had a CBAC and I'm Not Looking Back

maggie bittner

Feb 21, 202011 min read

THIS: The Postpartum Motherhood Ad that ABC Didn't Have the Balls to Air

THIS: The Postpartum Motherhood Ad that ABC Didn't Have the Balls to Air

THIS: The Postpartum Motherhood Ad that ABC Didn't Have the Balls to Air

maggie bittner

Feb 13, 20204 min read

TRUE STORY: MN Trucker Mom Gives Birth In NY Truck Stop Bathroom

TRUE STORY: MN Trucker Mom Gives Birth In NY Truck Stop Bathroom

TRUE STORY: MN Trucker Mom Gives Birth In NY Truck Stop Bathroom

maggie bittner

Jan 23, 20201 min read

TRUE STORY: ‘They deserve it’: Mom baits porch pirates with garbage-filled packages

TRUE STORY: ‘They deserve it’: Mom baits porch pirates with garbage-filled packages

TRUE STORY: ‘They deserve it’: Mom baits porch pirates with garbage-filled packages

maggie bittner

Dec 17, 20191 min read

TRUE STORY: Minnesota kid wins a 10k. By accident.

TRUE STORY: Minnesota kid wins a 10k. By accident.

TRUE STORY: Minnesota kid wins a 10k. By accident.

maggie bittner

Oct 2, 20192 min read

TRUE STORY: Kmart Sells X-Rated Slow-Cooker

TRUE STORY: Kmart Sells X-Rated Slow-Cooker

TRUE STORY: Kmart Sells X-Rated Slow-Cooker

maggie bittner

Sep 25, 20192 min read

Mo money mo moral misjudgement?

Mo money mo moral misjudgement?

Mo money mo moral misjudgement?

maggie bittner

Sep 11, 20193 min read

TRUE STORY: Mom is praised for having a moment and we're all fine.

TRUE STORY: Mom is praised for having a moment and we're all fine.

TRUE STORY: Mom is praised for having a moment and we're all fine.

maggie bittner

Aug 21, 20191 min read

TRUE STORY: A bank just earned the Worlds Best Dad award. And it's not even a sperm bank.

TRUE STORY: A bank just earned the Worlds Best Dad award. And it's not even a sperm bank.

TRUE STORY: A bank just earned the Worlds Best Dad award. And it's not even a sperm bank.

maggie bittner

Jun 5, 20192 min read

TRUE STORY: ...the state of motherhood in the US is trash, except for one thing

TRUE STORY: ...the state of motherhood in the US is trash, except for one thing

TRUE STORY: ...the state of motherhood in the US is trash, except for one thing

maggie bittner

May 15, 20192 min read

TRUE STORY: ‘Adulting’ calendars reward grown-ass adults with stickers

TRUE STORY: ‘Adulting’ calendars reward grown-ass adults with stickers

TRUE STORY: ‘Adulting’ calendars reward grown-ass adults with stickers

maggie bittner

May 3, 20191 min read

TRUE STORY: Mom demands children give their Build-A-Bears to daughter at birthday party

TRUE STORY: Mom demands children give their Build-A-Bears to daughter at birthday party

TRUE STORY: Mom demands children give their Build-A-Bears to daughter at birthday party

maggie bittner

Apr 18, 20191 min read

Yeah but...

Yeah but...

Yeah but...

maggie bittner

Apr 18, 20191 min read

Clearly, this officer does not have children in underpants.

Clearly, this officer does not have children in underpants.

Clearly, this officer does not have children in underpants.

maggie bittner

Apr 10, 20191 min read

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