I’ve been on vacation.
Now that’s a word I don’t use very often. Even as I type it out loud, it sounds foreign to me. “Vacation. Va-ca-tion. Vaaa caaaa tionnn. Hmm…am I saying that right?”
Anyway, I’m back in the office now…physically, that is. Mentally, I’m not quite here yet. Half of me is still in the Montana mountain valley that my family of 4 and I just spent the last 10 days in. The other half of me is trying to re-adjust to real life while ignoring the sever vacation bloat situation that’s currently happening. (Turns out, a steady diet of rosé and ice cream isn’t what most doctors would deem “healthy.”)
And let me tell you, re-entry is not easy. It’s kinda like going to work hungover in your 20’s: you’re super tired, super groggy, super not showered and your speech is slightly slurred. And all you can think about is the fried chicken you get to order for dinner when you get home. In summary, I need a vacation from my vacation.
It must be noted here that a vacation with kids is not really a vacation. It’s just slightly sober-ish parenting in a different location, which has its plusses and minuses. Plusses: You get to stop caring about what they eat and when they sleep for a solid stretch of time (unless, of course, it cuts into your rosé drinking time). Minuses: They stop eating and sleeping properly and start turning into tiny daemons, a behavior cycle that peaks right around the time your return flight boards and takes off. And then you’re buying the guy in front of you a $10 drink because your five year-old keeps kicking his seat.
So while I’m in this post-vacation hangover transition period, I’ve made a decision. I’m leaving my out-of-office reply on for just a few days longer, a glorious idea I got from Beth Castle at InHerSight. It’s only fair to both me and my co-workers. As I said before, I’m not really here here. So I might as well give everyone a little advance warning. After all, I don’t want them to think I just showed up drunk to work.
Here goes:
Hello! I’ll be out of office Wednesday, July 10 through Friday, July 12th. If you need anything at all, please refrain from emailing me until Monday, July 15, at which point the fresh vacation blood will have fully drained from my veins, most of my brain cells will have returned and I will be back to feeding my children vegetables. Thanks, and have a great day!
Good, right?
One last thing. Since it is apparently summer out there, chances are you or someone you know is about to head out on their own vacation. My advice? Don’t bring the kids. Also, get a little adventurous—write an out-of-the-box out-of-office reply before you go. With a little inspiration from Beth’s genius list you'll have a real humdinger in no time. Your co-workers will either love you or hate you for it, but either way, you’ll go out with a bang.
Bon voyage!
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