I’ve been holding on to this story for a little while. But now it is the end of September and we're officially entering comfort food season. Parents everywhere are pulling up their bootstraps, digging out the Crock-Pot® and settling into a long winter's regimen of set it and forget it. So I couldn't think of a better time to share it. Plus, with all the noise out there, sometimes we all just need a good fucking laugh.
Earlier this summer, a seemingly unsuspecting woman went into an Australian Kmart for a slow cooker and came out with small yet mighty typo...and the recipe for a perfect social media shit storm:
In case you're can't read the tiny inscription, it reads: CAUTION. TO PREVENT DAMAGE OR SHOCK HAZARD DO NOT COOK IN THIS LINER. COCK ONLY IN CONTAINER PROVIDED. DO NOT IMMERSE IN WATER.
The fact that the Facebook group this hilariously unfortunate blunder was posted in is entitled Kmart Lovers Australia brings up more questions than I have the time or desire to answer. But the penis jokes that ensued? I’ve totally got time for those.
But oddly enough, the jokes didn't come from Ms. Cooms' post. Apparently, she was no porno appliance pioneer. An English woman had previously discovered and posted the "cock caution" in the FB Kmart Hacks and Decor group. (Ok, I'll buy the "hacks part, but the "decor"? Eh, that's a stretch.) It was the latter that garnered over 1,000 comments. Here's just a taste:
“Does this mean that the meat will fall of the bone(r)?”
“it’s a C*ckpot.”
“What a c*ck up”
My turn!
Don't immerse in water? Talk about a cock blocker.
Forget blue balls. Now cock shock is a thing.
Kinda gives a new meaning to Cock-a-Leekie Stew, doesn't it?
That's what she said.
But really, I’d like to think that this typo was done by the hand of some disgruntled factory worker who wanted to permanently leave his or her mark on the slow-cooker world, right before storming out of the damn place one. last. time. (Slow clap.) A sort of "fuck you" to the kitchen appliance establishment. One small last laugh for a fed up factory worker, one giant guffaw for lazy cooks and time-zapped parents everywhere.
Or maybe it was done on purpose. Just to get us talking. All publicity is good publicity, right? In which case, well done, Kmart. Well done. This may just be the best thing you’ve done since Ship My Pants.
Comments