This article from My Modern Met is one of the coolest things I’ve seen in a while.
We all know that becoming a parent will change a person. No matter what your gender is, when you enter a birthing room one person and you exit another. But for the one actually doing the birthing, this is particularly true. Because let’s be real: you can’t expose your most intimate parts and poop in front of an army of people, many of whom are often complete strangers, legs cast open in the ever-attractive V formation, and leave unscathed. You just can’t. (Unless you’re some magical unicorn person, in which case I hope you’re enjoying your glitter.)
But grotesque side of motherhood aside, there are numerous physical and emotional alterations a lady goes through after having her first baby. Some are completely obvious, others are simply inexplicably there, like that pregnancy “glow” everyone sees but no one feels (except for, of course, that glittery unicorn person). And IMHO, no one has captured this “after essence” quite as astutely as artist and photographer, Vaida Markeviciute-Razmislavice.
In her project Becoming Mother, Vaida documents 33 women who have recently had a baby. The qualifications were simply thus:
…one, to be pregnant with the first-born; two, to participate in the second photoshoot within the first 3 months after the baby (or babies) were born; and three, allow unlimited publication of the two portraits.
Against the simplest of backgrounds, she captures each gaze head-on, no distractions.
I wanted to highlight women’s gaze, taking away everything that would interfere with it (i.e. the belly).
And, sure, there were a few hiccups.
For the second shoot, we specifically looked for a studio accessible with strollers to allow women to come with the babies. Unfortunately, a different studio meant different lighting, which can be seen in the after portraits.
But the final results are stunning. Because it’s not your typical before and after side-by-side. There's o woman standing inside one leg of hew now big but once form-fitting jeans like a circus sideshow. No. These portraits are way more insightful. Looking at them is like participating in a staring contest and losing every single time, not only because the competition has the solid advantage of being frozen in time, but because try as you might, you just put your finger on what it is that they know that you don’t. And that’s true, because each one has recently had a very profound, personal experience—a shift in persona.
…how different these women looked when they entered the studio for the second portrait. There was something intangible, very subtle and at the same time, deep, and evident. It is indeed rather hard for me to describe the changes the whole team witnessed. Some people see them, some don’t. It is vaguely possible to describe in detail the invisible behind the Becoming Mother portraits.
She’s right. I’ve tried to put what I see into words and all that comes out are rather basic strings a words, like I’m sitting in art class, jotting down semi-coherent notes into my college ruled notebook: Different gaze, completely different energy, maturity. At first, they didn’t know. And now they do. Whether that thing they now know is the way babies smell, how resilient they are or how they really could push a human from their bodies.
When a woman becomes a mother, they connect with their natural part, the inner power, their intuition increases, they know things they never knew before. However, with modern values in the background, these awakened strengths fade, women get carried away by routine, they lose connection with their power.
It’s like they are the same, but different. And it’s more than lighting. In some, I see a strong renewed confidence. In others, there’s a naivety that’s vanished and a sophistication that’s taken its place. A few may even seem less…happy? (Because “less rested” is a given.) But in all of them, there is a newfound strength and resilience. An intensity, even. A determination, a fierceness.
And in all the “after” faces, there’s a refinement to their features. Sometimes this means that their features have taken on a sharper, more defined look. But in others a softer gaze seems to appear. Or maybe it’s a relief that the “hard part” of birth is over and they—they can put all that fear to bed and now ease into their new role as mother.
The Becoming Mother portraits are like a bridge between the two phases of a woman’s life, two different worlds. Let it serve as a reminder and a calling for women to remember their true nature, connect to their power, always listen to their heart, and always trust their intuition, and knowledge behind it. Motherhood is a door to something sacred, something outside the commonness, and it is only us who can (re)open it.
Uffdah. Well said. I got nothin’ on that.
But I’m curious, what do you see in these faces? (Unicorn people need not reply.)
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