This
has been
the
LONGEST
FUCKING
WEEK
EVER
It's like the song that never ends. Yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people started eating bats not knowing what they had, and now they're spreading viruses forever just because this is the song that never ends...yeah, you know how this plays out.
Before this week, I thought "quarantine" was a word reserved for people who are not me. I thought social distancing was a thing we were already doing because Facebook. I thought I was pretty good at personal hygiene. But now my hands are so chapped from soap and sanitizer that my knuckles are literally raw and not only have I learned that I severely underestimated the amount of disinfecting wipes we had in the house, but I am also really bad at not touching my face. Like really bad. And I have a one and a half year-old who is even worse at not touching his face and a five year-old who is just bad at mostly everything.
Forgive me for being in a bit of a sour mood but man, this social distancing thing is almost harder to endure than labor. And you don't even get a cute baby at the end of it. (Unless you and your partner are using this at-home time to make like bunnies.) I don't think anyone can blame me. I mean, those of us with kids literally had our responsibilities multiply (like 🐇🐇) overnight. Here's just a short list of our current job titles:
Full time working mom
Full time stay at home mom
Full time teacher
Full time daycare provider
Full time short order cook
Full time house cleaner
Full time household shopper
Full time family counselor
Full time family doctor
Full time washer of literally ever surface ever touched by human hands
In other words, that motherhood mental load we're always talking about? It's grown exponentially. And on top of it all, there are no more Clorox wipes, which negatively impacts job numbers 6., 7., 9., and 10. Meanwhile, the internet has a lot to say about all things corona. Like A LOT of things. Extremists from both sides of the spectrum have come out to play on social media and it's making my head spin. And the tips. Ugh. The tips. Tips for keeping your kids entertained on screens. Tips for how to not keep you kids entertained on screens. Tips for how to teach your kids. Tips for things you should not teach your kids. Tips for cleaning with Clorox wipes properly, even though there aren't any fucking Clorox wipes anymore. Tips for how to to keep your home free of contamination even though (see previous sentence). Tips for journaling through this "difficult time". Tips for how to mentally process all the tips. Tips for tips.
If I thought I was just hanging on before all this madness started to occur, I don't even know what I am now. Well, for starters, I'm overwhelmed by the magnitude of it all, as I'm sure most of you are. And if we're being completely honest here, we're pissed, right? We want someone to blame. We want somebody to be fired for serving us more of what we're already full up on. We want to quit. But we cant. Because something out in the big, bad world has threatened our pack and like the animal mamas we are, we must defend. Like Gloria Gaynor, we must survive.
And right now, in the most simple of terms, my survival means that happy hour starts at 3:30 and I get to wear elastic waist pants every day. And it means that I get to have cookies whenever I want and not feel an ounce bad about it. And it. means my kids get to watch a lot of PBS. Like a lot a lot. And it means that if I don't feel like showering, I'm not going to fucking shower. And it means that I get to work from home, which I love, even though it's super straining on my brain when the kids are around. And it means that I finally took the time to setup the little home office like I've been wanting to do for, like, ever. And it means that I get to see my kids and my husband more often, even though that can get super annoying, especially when my one and a half year-old decides to stop napping and my husband decides to make pickled eggs whilst in quarantine. (Yep. PICKLED EGGS. Oh, the vinegar.) It means that I get to do laundry at a reasonable pace. It means I get to take a long walk in the middle of the afternoon. It means a lot of things. It means whatever I need it to mean to just get buy, day by day, hour by hour.
But I think above all, I need to consistently remind myself that it means I get to make a choice: glom onto that freaked out, overwhelmed state of mind and stay there until I drive myself and my nuclear family crazy (the easy choice), or try to look for the beauty in the breakdown. Because there's got a be a reason why all of this is happening—there's gotta be a rainbow connection 🌈. OMG 🤢. The sarcastic side of me really immediately hates it when I say shit like that, but if ever there was a time to let that inner peace out, it's now. Eh-hem. I mean it's right FUCKING now. Ah, there. That's better. 🤨
So friends, before I say any more things that are bound to make my cheese-o-meter go off, I end this pain in the ass week by dropping a few links that have given me some joy and much needed reprieve and from the dark cloud that sudden change has put us under. That's it. Just some random links. Some are on the funny side, some are more on the real. But I won't say anything else about them. Just click 'em when you feel yourself slipping down the rabbit hole and know that whatever it is you're experiencing or feeling in this moment, you are not the only one feeling or experiencing it. Even in this unchartered, topsy turvy, bullshit period in time, there's safety in numbers. And don't worry, I don't think any of these links contain any tips. Because the world just doesn't need any more fucking tips. We need a happy ending. (No, not that kind of happy ending. Perverts.)
Some Links that Will Make Life Suck Less for at Least a Minute to Two
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